Over dinner with a friend here in New York, we were talking about the #MeToo movement and how it’s certainly not dying down. He then asked if I had a #MeToo story. It was only then that I realized my #MeToo moment. I was surprised that I never thought about it until that dinner.
Back when I was in Candy, my closest friends happened to be in real estate. In good faith, I tried it out since they told me that they could earn in a month what I earned in a year in publishing. Who could resist a big paycheck, after all?
I was presenting to a client, an old man who said to me “I will buy this condo if you will date my son.” No kidding. I felt so objectified. I quickly went back to publishing after that experience. If that was going to be the reality of my working life, I didn’t want to bother. I was happy working in fashion anyway and I was lucky that I had to option to go back.
Now, I just think about the women who find themselves in similar situations in the workforce but don’t have much of a choice. They stay because they are the breadwinners of their respective families and they can’t afford to turn down comfortable salaries even if meant being in uncomfortable situations.
Reflecting on my own #MeToo experience, I not only thought about what the movement is doing now: enabling women to voice out the everyday abuse they are subjected to. I also thought about the big question we should ask after every #MeToo story: What’s next?
It’s not enough that we tell our stories. I’ve moved on from my own experience, but I know other stories aren’t something you can easily get over. Still, it’s also about what we’re going to do about it.
For me, what’s next lies in the way I raise my kids. I have three boys and my #MeToo story along with the millions out there makes me motivated to teach them how to be men who respect people. Period. I want them to learn how to treat people correctly, regardless of gender, through working and how I deal with all the people around me.
The #MeToo movement should go beyond looking back on the abuse and passive sexism we experience. It should also look forward to a future where these stories no longer exist, not because no one tells them anymore, but because they no longer happen to anyone.
What are you going to do after joining #MeToo? What’s next for you?
